F – False
E – Evidence
A – Appearing
R – Real
Fear is nothing more than stated above….false evidence appearing real…..to us that is! I want to share with you how you can eliminate fear from your life in a few simple steps. You do have the power to conquer your fear and I want to show you how right now!
Almost all of the bad situations we can imagine hardly ever come to be. A prime example would be that I fail at my attempts to life coach people. What if nothing I say or do helps anyone ever again on this planet??? What a tragedy that would be! And what if people told me that I was so bad at it that I should quit and never do it again? The one thing that I love doing with all my passion and heart and soul and people say I should quit??? Just take a dagger to my heart right now, cut it open and pour salt and boiling hot oil in the wound. Okay, okay, a little overly dramatic I know, but you get the idea!
Fear keeps us from trying something new and holds us back from achieving more in life and the funny thing is that none of what we fear usually happens. I feared rejection and ridicule for starting this blog and I was afraid no one would actually want to read the stuff I write but I was wrong. People are actually reading it and re-reading it and taking my advice and putting it to good use.
The emotion of fear can be a great tool in keeping us alive and well. If we didn’t have any fear at all then more than half of us on the planet would not survive past our first few years of life. Fear keeps us from going too far when doing dangerous or risky behaviors to some degree. But fear also keeps us paralyzed to move forward and take any risk at all even if it is just a small risk.
Meditation is a good way to eliminate fears and I want to share some of my secret tips with you. First thing to do is to get in a quiet place and put all distractions away from you. You only need five or ten minutes of time for this exercise so leave your cell phone or tablet in another room. Next I want you to get comfortable so recline in a comfy chair or lie down on your bed. Begin to feel your body relax and try to relax so that your body physically feels as though it is sinking into the furniture. Concentrate for just a minute on your muscles relaxing and feel yourself breathing with slow and deep breaths. Now think about the fear and play out the worst possible scenario in your mind of what that fear can do to you or your loved ones. Make it the worst possible outcome you can imagine and really make it vivid and horrific. Does this sound like good advice so far??? Keep reading and find out!
For example if you have a fear of public speaking or meeting new people then imagine yourself in a crowded room and you are the center of attention and every eye is on you waiting to see what you will say. Now imagine the worst possible outcome from this scenario. Imagine that everyone watches you choke up and they all start to laugh and talk about you amongst each other and ridicule you and boo you off the platform. Then I want you to feel this emotion for just a minute. I mean I want you to really feel it and experience it as if it is actually happening to you right now. Notice how the guy in front is laughing in hysterics and his face is turning red and the lady next to him is shaking her head in disapproval as if wondering why in the hell you were ever born because you are such a loser and a joke! And the MC of the event decides to do crowd control by making fun of you as well and joining in the rant with the crowd. So now you are butt of their jokes and completely humiliated and devastated. Stay in this terrible place for a full minute. Yes….I am dead serious and you’ll see why in a moment….keep reading. 🙂
Now this is the worst case scenario of what could happen so far. And in experiencing the emotion and visualizing the experience in your mind you are actually getting rid of the fear but you’re not done yet so read on. Now I want you to re-play this image in your mind but this time around I want you to imagine the best possible ending you can imagine. For me it would be that the entire audience stands up and gives me a standing ovation and then I get offers to speak at all major events and I end up getting interviewed by Oprah!! People would crowd around me to tell me how much of a positive impact I have made on their lives and I inspire them with all that I have overcome. I would be ultra famous and considered the ultimate authority on life coaching. Don’t laugh at my dream! It’s going to happen one day….watch and see! But whatever outcome you desire is what plays out in your mind this time around. Now really get into that emotion and stay there for a few minutes just basking in that glory. Make sure you really let this best case scenario play itself out and let it be as big and ridiculous and you can make it. It’s a visualization technique and seeing what you really want will motivate you to move through your fear.
So let’s recap for a second…you’ve just relived in your own mind the worst and best case scenarios to your fear. These are the extremes on the spectrum of life and now you can realize that the outcome in reality will fall somewhere in between these two and will most likely be somewhere in the middle. You will probably get nervous and still give your speech and people will applaud and congratulate you on a job well done and you will have survived the whole ordeal and feel better knowing you conquered your fear rather than let it paralyze you.
I will admit that some fears are easier to overcome than others. I still struggle with my fear of heights and falling so I cannot get up enough nerve or courage to ride a roller coaster, bungee jump or sky dive. But I don’t mind so much because it is not my desire to become a well known thrill seeker or sky diver and I won’t live with regret if I never jump out of a plane or off a bridge. Overcoming this particular fear isn’t one of my priorities and you should prioritize yours as well. If overcoming the fear won’t make a huge impact in your life, like my sky diving fear won’t in mine, then just work on overcoming the ones that will make a difference. Just in case you might be interested….another fear of mine is a fear of snakes but you won’t find me meditating on this one! And I won’t be visiting a snake farm or herpetarium at the zoo anytime soon either! This is just one of those fears that I am okay with having and not overcoming! (Just thought I would include this little tidbit about me for your own humor!)
I would live with regret for the rest of my life if I had allowed my own fears of being rejected and ridiculed to stop me from following my passion and dream of life coaching. I am actually a private person and I realize that the only way I can help people is by being more transparent and sharing more about myself and the things I have overcome in my life. I can say that it is not easy and I still struggle to this day but I do the exercises above and if I am truly afraid then I do whatever it is I want to do afraid anyway. I want to look back at the end of my life and be proud that I faced my fears. Even if I failed at things, (which I have failed numerous times) then I can live knowing that I did more by trying while afraid than I ever did by being paralyzed and afraid to go forward.
Fear will always be there and it will never go away entirely. It is programmed into our minds and it was designed to help us survive like the caveman being afraid of man-eating animals and learning to run when he saw one coming his way. The only difference between your fears and the fears of those who are successful is that successful people do the action while afraid or they lessen the fear through meditation or other techniques. If you have enough good outcomes then the fear is no longer apparent. Example, if I give enough speeches in public and people like my style and like me, then I am no longer nervous or afraid of rejection when I give a speech to a crowd.
I hope that you will learn to lessen your degree of fear in areas that are holding you back from being who you want to be. If you are struggling to move forward then please don’t hesitate to contact me and I will be more than happy to help you go forward. It is my hope that you succeed in all that you endeavor to do in this world! Be a blessing and give someone a smile today….after all it’s free, but it’s priceless!
Have you overcome any fears in your life? Would you mind sharing what techniques you used and how it helped you? Thank you for sharing!