Is Ignorance Really Bliss?
Is Ignorance Really Bliss? In this particular instance the answer is YES! I had no idea I was walking a total of 2 miles a day by walking my kids to and from school and if I had known this information before committing to do it then I probably would not have ever done it! That’s just proof that stinking thinking really can stop us from reaching our goals long before we ever make an attempt!
Excuses, BS and the blame game
A year ago I saw this Pinterest pin called Couch to 5K and the diagram made things look so simple that I thought I could actually tackle running. I lasted a week and gave up because I now realize that I hated running. It was so boring and I confessed this to my husband who loves to run and I gave up my dream of getting in shape, until recently!
My family doctor also got on my case and told me to start walking but I was still being stubborn and making excuses about my skin condition making it difficult and he just nodded his head as if making mental note that I am still blaming and making excuses instead of doing what’s necessary for good health.
I kept feeding myself lies so I wouldn’t have to actually “do” exercise and change my eating habits. I would tell myself that genetics plays a role in my weight problem and that my skin condition (HS) gave me good reason to “limit” my exercise. I limited it all right – to zero exercise!
I also justified that I didn’t need to lose weight because I had full mobility and my husband tells me that I’m beautiful and loves my full figured body. It is true that my Hunny Bunny loves me no matter what but I am lying to myself if I think being obese, having high blood pressure and feeling like crap all the time is healthy. I am sure if my husband had a choice, he would choose healthy wife over plump wife any day!
One decision can change it all around!
I tell my coaching clients all the time that deciding is more than half the battle in the mind. Funny how I can easily coach others but sometimes I can’t follow my own advice, at least not right away! Let me just say that I don’t want anyone to misunderstand and think this was a simple change because this has been an 7 year long journey for me. It all started when I decided that I wanted to quit smoking after my daughter was born and I went back to work.
It took me 7 long years to work through some of the mental obstacles and to work through some personal issues as well. I went through a divorce and I learned that I was an emotional eater. I also knew that I could never maintain permanent weight loss and a healthy lifestyle until I first dealt with my own issues that caused me to turn to food for comfort.
Most of it was poor self-esteem and I will share those struggles in detail in future posts, but for now, just know that I never allow my children to hear me put myself down. I do own that I am overweight and I don’t gloss that over for them but I don’t ever stand in front of a mirror and say bad things to myself. I also don’t body shame my kids in any way although the lucky little snots are stick tall and thin!
Cut the roots and the tree will die
I had to dig around in my own head and find the root cause of my emotional eating habits. I could lose all of the weight and get healthy but until my head is right, it won’t matter and it won’t last. Years of emotional baggage, low self-esteem and stinking thinking had turned into layers and layers of fat hanging on my body. Before I could get to this point of writing that and being okay with it or even fully owning it, I had to work some things out in my head.
I started nurturing my own self-esteem by finding things that I enjoy doing that give me a feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment. Blogging and coaching is a big part of feeding my self-esteem because my readers are so encouraging and they share so much of their lives with me and for that I am truly grateful because I couldn’t have gotten this far all alone!
I also stopped comparing myself to others because it’s self-defeating! I made a decision that every single time I noticed I was comparing myself to other women who were in shape or fit, instead of being part of the haters club and feeling envious, I would go ahead and just join them! I would take steps to make changes, no matter how small or how long it took and I know that one day in the future, I would look just like them!
I gave myself full permission to cross the line and count myself as one of those “fitness junkie moms.” I did the same thing when I first learned to coupon with comparing myself to others and wondering when I’ll ever get to the amount of extreme savings that those veteran couponers were getting and now I’m there so I know I can do the same with my healthy lifestyle! Little changes will add up to big results so that motivates me!
Hubby and I cut down some trees in our yard when we bought our house 2 years ago. Did you know that you can cut down a full entire tree but if the root is still alive it can grow back? I am not talking about a little twig of a tree either! These things were large and had deep roots!
The very same is true about weight loss and lifestyle changes, or any change at all in life. You can easily treat the symptoms of a problem but if you are not willing to dig deep and find the root cause of the issue then treating the symptoms is only a temporary solution.
Disease is a body not at ease
I have high blood pressure because I allowed myself to become overly stressed in the past few years. Other issues like developing severe pre-eclampsia during pregnancy helped too but the main cause was unnecessary stress and it’s my fault. I was pushing myself to do too much and most of the things I was doing was actually not necessary.
Vague – I know. Let me explain, I had to take some time this past summer to reflect on what I was doing with my family, my career and my health. I needed to set my priorities again and that required changing my mind about certain things.
The first decision I made was to stop writing coupon deals because it took so much of my time and I hated every aspect of it. I also realized that my children, especially my daughter – who happens to be my biggest fan, was watching and learning about life from me. What kind of example was I setting by making excuses instead of changes?
I also decided that I would take the time each day to prepare nutritious and healthy meals for my family, even if it means being in the kitchen all day and not blogging as much.
I was simply tired of being a hypocrite and talking to my kids about being healthy while living such an unhealthy lifestyle. It made me feel so guilty and ashamed and that was painful enough for me to commit to making changes. I knew I might fail at some attemptsto change, like finding exercise that I enjoy, but I was committed to continue searching for solutions until I succeeded in meeting my goals.
It’s amazing how much stress has dissipated since I made the decision to make these changes to my life. Finding excuses to continue living that way became more work than just doing the healthy habits. I was running out of good reasons to not exercise and I found that I could mentally clear my mind by just walking instead of thinking of reasons not to do it!
The lack of stress has put my body into a mode of ease instead of dis-ease. The longer I do these habits and the longer I commit to these changes, the more likely it will be that I can wean off the medication and become healthier in my 40s than I ever was in my 20s!! Besides I want to be the cougar wife that my husband will be proud to show off to his colleagues!
You deserve to love you!
Give yourself permission today to love you and take care of yourself better than you take care of anyone else because no one else will love you like you will love you! This is my year of replenishment and rest, both mentally and physically. I am slowing down, taking the time to enjoy the moments of where I am in life, and my struggles indicate that I am continuing to make changes in my life. I am nourishing my mind, body and soul as I feed my family nourishing food and I know that I am giving them the best of me when I exercise and take good care of my body.
I wish I could hug each and every one of you and share the love! I hope that sharing my personal struggles will inspire you to change and tackle new challenges in your life. Know that you are never alone and that we all have to climb our big mountains of problems!
Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase. – Martin Luther King Jr
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